God's Gift~Friendship

I know that I am really playing catch up on my posts but it really has taken me a while to work through all the emotions and time of reflection that the months of November & December have awakened in me. I am still working through them and every closing of a year erupts these types of feelings but boy, this year has knocked my socks off. Seriously, it has been intense on so many levels.

In previous posts I have mentioned the names of some gorgeous women who I am honored to call friends. I have also mentioned my "support network" here in TN. That is these same women. The funny(yes, I mean HA, HA, funny) thing is all of us must have gone through similar reflective days at really the same time because there were about 3 days of just the sappiest, warm & fuzzy, Kissie-huggie junk being sent between us via email. You got to love how the mighty Creator formed us Chickie babes. To the outsider & especially outside male it would have seemed pretty estrogen fueled. Regardless, these specific women are the angels God sent to me the night before we said goodbye to Anna. These are the women that laid their hands on me and prayed hard with me for divine intervention or a divine sign into the wee hours of the morning. The women who laughed & cried with me that night and acted on the Holy Spirits behalf to strengthen me one last time before I had to let go.

Two of my dear friends Cindy & Heather honored Anna, Tony, Grace & me with the ultimate gifts the night of Anna's birthday(Dec. 4th). For me they answered a prayer that I had not shared with anyone. A prayer I had cried out silently to God in the shower(where I do my best & most private praying, crying, screaming). I was starting to forget little details of Anna and had pleaded for God's help to remember.....how small her hand was, how she held her fingers up and those toes. Yes, I had pictures and yes, I had looked at them in passing but had not trusted myself to really study them or to start printing off the camera to scrapbook. These two sweet, loving and all giving ladies took so much time and effort to give me just that. The four pictures here can not tell you how special both of these gifts are. To the normal eye they would be a photo book & hand/foot imprint but to me they gave me a little of my Anna back. Now I can pick up her book and see every picture we ever took of Anna and lay my hand on top of her

(Sorry for the positioning of pics but it will not let them move!)

imprints and remember with clear vision how small they were. Every line & crease is in those imprints.....the tedious, mind numbing monotony that had to have taken over while Heather was doing this is just mind blowing. To make imprints from the prints the hospital took of Anna would have seemed impossible to me but not to our Heather. How special could two gifts be? Not even all the diamonds on earth could outweigh their value. I am so blessed to call you both friends. That is a God given gift that I will never take for granted. My grandfather told me one thing as a child that I have remembered and carried to adulthood....."before you die if you can call one person a true friend you are the richest woman alive". Well, Grandaddy I am at the top of Forbes Fortune 500. I love you two!

December 2007 I sat here in TN happy & content but feeling the overwhelming void of loneliness. We were still in the "waiting" stage of our 2nd adoption and yes, I had my family but the closeness of a good friend was still missing. A friend who knew what the ups & downs of adoption and what the wait meant. I had so many friends back home in VA and they will always be my kindred spirits that hold my past & my heart. Some of the most loving people that I still miss in ways everyday. I still was lonely for that companionship that only a woman friend who just lives down the street or across town can provide. A friend that knows your stories, knows your little idiosyncrasies and still loves ya. I prayed for that last year in the "reflective ending of 2007". God answered that prayer and yes, it took a horrible moment in my life for me to really "see" that they had been all around me but it was me who had not let them in. God gave me a miracle which made me vulnerable in "trusting" to let someone know me here in TN.....the real Jo, the ugly and not so together Jo.

He gave me Anna & He gave friends who have held my hand, wiped my tears, prayed with me and for me everyday since I had to let her go. Thank each of you for your part in helping me pick myself up, dust myself off and begin to try to start all over again. To my network of Godly made supportive women I dedicate this post to you......God guides my keystrokes to thank You! Cindy, Heather, Angela, Stefanie, Amy, Leslie. You walk the walk & You talk the talk. God bless you! In addition it is with sweet sincerity that I thank Patrice, Robin, Anne & Teresa. You each are so inspirational to me. I look forward to the years to come and the moments we will share. God's gifts........ Friendship is one of the best!

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one [wo]man sharpens another."

Hugs,

Jo