Sunday, December 28, 2008

Quiet Christmas with a Scare

So looking back on this Christmas I am so in awe of how God lifted our little threesome up to still embrace what could have been a very hard holiday. The splendor, wonder & pure God provided majesty of the season over shadowed our pain. I am not saying that we "forgot Anna" for even a moment because that just does not happen. She is tucked safely in all 3 of our hearts and for Grace & I, usually a day does not pass without one of us mentioning a memory from that sweet 10 weeks. To be honest it comes harder for Tony. God love him he is such a good, tender hearted and sweet hearted father. Loosing our Anna has torn him apart in so many ways but just like me, Tony walks a taller & closer walk with Christ. We all grieve together but on different levels and on different time tables. I have learned very quickly that we have to do it together but also separately with God. There is no expectations of the other to say, feel, do or act as the other has and that is what is working for us. Like I have said before and so many have told me in passing, "There is no right or wrong way to grieve." We cling to the cross and the man who hung on it for our direction and He answers us.






(Grace just posing with her reindeer head-dress)
Christmas was quiet. Grace decided to start feeling a little yucky Christmas night and start carrying a fever. For those of you who do not know how my Grace works, here's a quick explanation(so you do not think I am a negligent momma). By the grace of God, Grace is healthy as a horse. She has a built in immune system that seems to fight the worst of the worst off in just days with only a fever at times to show she is fighting. So I figured this time was the same. We made the decision to head home, Grace & I to VA to visit my folks for the remainder of her school vacation. Tony stayed back in TN since he had to return to work and would limit our visit. Due to Anna's adoption & just timing of things it had been June 2007 since I had gone home to just visit. 18 months is a long time when you love your parents & childhood home/home town like I do. Usually Grace gets to see her Nana & Pop every 3 months and had still had since she was with them while we were in China meeting our Anna. So we started our 12 hour journey to Southampton Co., VA with a stop in Wytheville over night since it is a littler harder when there is only one of you driving. Grace's fever went up/down the whole way there and her glands started to stick out, especially the one under her right ear. Long story short we ended up arriving home(Thank the Good Lord) and Grace spiked a 106 fever. After 5.5 hours in the emergency room, blood work, chest x-ray and ct scan(of lungs), a quick strep test came back positive. Grace had strep. Funny thing is her throat was normal and she had not complained once. The kid eats like a horse and had not stopped even with the fever. Praise God! From head to toe she was checked and it was strep.
For those of you who have followed our progress you know I had mentioned on Anna's birthday how frightened I was of going back into the hospital. Well, that was not just Vandy. It was hospitals in general. I have quietly spoke to God without much commentary to anyone else how the idea of Grace or Tony going to the hospital would scare me to death. I feel the same at this point about my sweet beast of hound, Winston. Winston has needed his teeth cleaned by the vet. for 4 months now and God bless our vet she has completely understood my fear in putting an 11 year old dog under anesthesia for teeth cleaning. Sooo---God wanted to show me without any question that no matter how scared I was of the "hospital" & the fear/trust factor that goes with it I could survive it. His help! His help! His Help! That is all I needed. Now you are not going to believe this but He again gave His personal attention to my need that night. As they were getting ready to take Grace back for the chest X-ray my cell phone rang. My Momma answered and it was Heather back here in TN. The Holy spirit had gotten her attention that night and she just knew something was wrong & that I needed her. Where the fear had suppressed my ability to pray anything other than, "Please, God not Grace. Please God help me!" I stood in the hallway of that hospital and my dear, precious friend prayed for/with me. Then the peace enveloped me like a warm hug. She got on the phone & computer and the prayers were heard. He lifted, supported & strengthened me. Praise God--what would I do without Him? How would I survive? Friendship-A true gift from God(Love you Heather!)!

(Nana, Grace & Gus just chillin' & smillin')

So the rest of the visit was filled with quiet rest & just good ole' fashioned quality time with my folks. For Grace to be able to crawl on the couch with her Nana & Pop and just rest was the best medicine. I watched my 70+ Daddy play hide & seek with her in the back yard a few days later. To see that sweet man hiding behind huge pine trees was just so special. Grace wanted a "tool box" for her reward for being so brave in the E.R. that night. You know my Grace....no princess stuff for her. Pop & her had a blast playing Mr. Fix It. See when they did the chest X-ray the doctor noticed something funny & wanted to be 100% sure Grace was good head to toe. So, we did the CT scan. The tech. was a sweet woman my Momma had known for years and she was so kind to Grace. Grace was scared but so brave. I was praying with her as they prepped her to do the scan and this dear woman over heard me. She said, " I just love hearing the momma's who talk with their babies to God." I told her
how Grace loved God so much already and had such a personal relationship with Him at such an early age. Without hesitation Grace said, "Jesus is my King, The most powerful and the Only King. I love Him & He loves me." Oh, how proud a moment for me. Especially as little tears rolled down her cheeks from fear. My Grace. My little, brave girl with the zeal for life. Yes, the wind had been knocked out of me and it took about 4 days for me to "normalize" but we enjoyed our quiet Christmas so much. The blessing, meaning & true gift of the season was not missed and I am so grateful for every moment.....even our Sunday scare.
In His Embrace,
Jo

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